When I was asked me to write about ‘my life with glasses’ I called my mum to see if she had any photos tucked away of my spectacled, gawky younger self and she didn't let me down.
With my Deirdre from Corrie hairdo style, Loadsamoney t-shirt and long before social media told us to scream it loud, 12-year old me with glasses was ready to tell the world: 'I am enough'. The only irony was that I wasn’t allowed to watch Saturday Live, the show that Loadsamoney was on, because it was past my bedtime.
But despite my best efforts to display N.W.A levels of bravado (while on a caravan holiday in Berwick-Upon-Tweed with my mum, sister and gran), in the classroom, I was more self-conscious.
I first started squinting around aged 10, but I didn’t want to admit it. When we had to copy things from the board, I would make excuses to walk to the front of the classroom – like using the big pencil sharpener – read and memorise what was there, and amble back to my chair to write it down.
For reasons that aren't clear to me, whenever I put on a big-framed set of glasses now, I immediately take on the personality of a children's TV presenter.CHET
When I was the first boy in my class to wear bins, it was at a time when spec-wearing was considered a sure sign of nerdishness and probably something that made you less able to catch. I lied and told an elaborate story about how 80s goal fountain Ian Rush always wore glasses on his days off.
I like the dark to light on these specs, and the fact they aren't as high as the others, which can help those of us with a poorly maintained unibrow.
When I was younger glasses were still more a thing of shame than of pride. Something to be tucked away in a pocket, getting bent out of shape and only to be pulled out when you really needed to see something.
These specs are named, I’m guessing, after Sir Bobby. These are my main frames that I currently wear and lend themselves well to a Ronnie-Corbett-style wiggle between thumb and forefinger.B CHARLTON
Now, things are a little different. I've stopped shunning my inner nerd, so glasses are now part of my daily life. I’ve also realised the benefit of a heavy frame when you’re a man of (early) middle age and need to convey a little seriousness in meetings.
I feel more serious as a man just by wearing these. They’re also good for taking off and tapping on your chin when you’ve run out of things to say and are trying to look intelligent.PARKER